So Many Thoughts…

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Posted by Ms. Harmony | Posted in Daily | Posted on 30-09-2007

So many thoughts are coming in my head as I sit at this computer. I hope I will be able to write them all without confusion.

Well, I’m laying on my bed reading “The Notebook.” I have read it once but I have to read it again because I have to compare and contrast the movie and the book. But as I lay on my bed reading about the love and passion between Noah and Allie, I can’t help but to think about the times of when I was with Stephen.

I have seen the parallels between my life and the book. It’s so hard to explain, but I honestly don’t think I could move relationship wise until I talk to him. I have so many things on my chest that I need clarification on. I just have so many questions to ask about what happened. Why things didn’t go the way we had planned. Why he shredded my heart into tiny little pieces.

And what sucks about this is that I can’t get involved with anyone else because I know that I will be holding back and not giving 100nd I don’t want to cheat that person of that. I hate admitting this because I want to hate him for what he has done to me, but I can’t. He was my first love. He has taken a part of me with him everywhere that he goes and I have of him. I can rid myself of him because he’s always tormenting my mind. It’s like a rash that I can’t get rid of. I have no choice but the live with it.

It was him that makes me run away from commitment because I don’t want my heart to be torn again. I don’t think I will love ever again because of what he’s done. I hate him for that but at the same time…. I don’t. I do think have I done the same to him. Part of me hopes that I did so he could get a taste of his own medicine. I know it’s wrong to say but damnit that’s how I feel.

I am really going to hate finishing that book and then watching the movie because I will envy their relationship with each other. I wish it could be something that I could have in my life but I know that I can’t. Not until I dump off the extra baggage that has been holding me down for years.

BUT IM STILL IN LOVE WITH  HIM!

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If You Don’t Know Me By Now….

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Posted by Ms. Harmony | Posted in Daily | Posted on 22-09-2007

1. When was the last time that you threw up?
In December…Christmas sucked ass!

2. If you could go back to college just to learn something you always wanted to learn about, what would it be?
probably something to deal with the recording industry

3. When was the last time that you got your car’s oil changed?
I probably need one now.. I don’t know.  hehehe

4. If you had the choice between seeing your best loved one die or you, who would it be?
It would be me.

5. Where is the most beautiful place that you have been?
On a cruise ship to the Bahamas… the water was so peaceful.

6. What brand stapler is on your desk? 
Swingline..don’t ask!

7. Gwen Stefani solo or No Doubt?
No Doubt

8. From the greek for “knowledge”, what Christian movement took place in the second century A.D.?
I have no clue…don’t punish me for that.

9. What was the last team sport that you played?
Basketball… i still suck at it.

10. If you had to move to another city in the continental United States, which city would you choose?
Not sure what city but I was to move on the coast of somewhere (like NC) and have a house on the beach.

11. Have you ever punched a cow in the face?
No.

12. Did Paula Abdul sleep with that sleazy guy?
probably…

13. How old were you when you had the hardest time in life?
I would say it started at age 6 or 7 and it hasn’t been easy ever since.

14. Can you speak any other languages?
I little bit of Spanish and Japanese.  Does ebonics count?

15. If you had to wear the same outfit for the rest of your life, would it bother you?
If I’m comfortable…then no

16. When kissing your mate, where do you usually put your hands?
Im not sure… i need someone to test this on… any volunteers?

17. What is the fastest that you have ever run a mile?
I haven’t ran much since I hurt my knee..so I wouldn’t know

18. What is your favorite song at this moment?
Helena- My Chemical Romance

19. What type of deodorant do you use?
Dove

20. What did you have for dinner last night?
Chips and Cheese Dip.. i wasn’t hungry for some reason

21. How much does it cost you to fill your tank and how many miles do you get?
about $20 and I’m not sure

22. Were you an Algebra or Geometry person?
Algebra

23. Can you fix the stuff that breaks at your house?
More that likely since I’m the only nerd in the house..hahaha

24. What is your major malfunction?
to many to type out

25. Do you follow celebrity trials?
No… i could care less

26. What other programs do you have running right now?
Adobe Photoshop

27. If you could live in any other time aside from now, when would it be?
2056 just to see how the world will look like

28. When was the last time that you bought flowers for someone?
It’s been a while

29. Have you ever caught your parents in the act?
No.

30. Who was your last missed call on your cell ?
This damn number that keeps calling me… and I don’t know who it is

31. Are gay people sinners?
We’re all sinners.

32. Which Real World was your favorite?
Don’t care to watch it

33. Do you get generic brands at the market?
Hell yes!

34. Cats or dogs?
Both, I can’t wait to move out and have my own.

35. Which Star Wars is the best?
Episode 3… evil prevails in this one! Score

36. Was Picasso a genius or a bafoon?
A genius.

37. What brand of sneakers do you roll?
Puma…

39. What is your fondest memory?
Falling into conversation with a good friend…you know who you are.

40. What percentage of your paycheck do you save?
I haven’t gotten my first one yet…

41. Do you buy tabloids?
Nope.

42. Have you ever used a designer drug?
Uh…NO

43. What was the last movie you watched?
Assault on Precinct 13

44. What station do you watch for the news?
Not a big news person.. but maybe ch. 5

45. Close your eyes, spin around on your chair, and grab the first thing in reach while your eyes are still closed. What is it?
My room is WAY to junky to do that…

46. Can boy bands make a comeback?
I hope not.

47. First thing you would buy if you won the lottery?
a MAC computer

48. Do you fall asleep after sex?
Sometimes.. depends tho.

49. Are you cheesy?
God yes!

50. Was this a good survey?
Yea…

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